We’re now on day 16 of no water – well, water came last week for 24 hours which filled our tank, meaning we had it for an extra 24 hours, 48 in total – but apart from that, NO WATER FOR 16 DAYS. 16 DAYS!!! Most of the time, I’ve been surprisingly ok with this. I shower at the office, lovely friends have offered the use of their washing machine and we buy water to use for everything else. It is actually possible to survive with no running water.
Except for when you have a paddy about it. Like last Friday when we had 6 people round for dinner, celebrating a friend’s birthday, and I got home from work to find our reserves of water had run out and to top it off, no power. Cue big strop.
Or like this morning, when I got up early to get into the office early enough to turn the electric water heater on, allow 30minutes for the water to heat up and then shower before work at 9am, only to get into the office and find there was (again) no power. Cold shower it was. And again: cue big strop.
Like really big strop. I locked myself in the bathroom and shed a few tears while bracing myself for the cold shower. And even more tears when power came back, just as I had managed to take a deep breath and stand under the stream of freezing water. Typical. But mostly they were whingy tears rather than actual upset tears. Whinging at KPLC people (electricity people). Whinging at Nairobi City Council. Whinging at friggin’ Africa. Whinging at God.
Sometimes this whole Ooh…let’s-have-an-adventure, and live-life, and life’s-too-short attitude, and let’s-move-to-AFRICA thing isn’t so glamorous and it gets to me and I wish I wasn’t here and I wish I could just have a nice hot bath and snuggle up with some decent chocolate and a dvd that isn’t fake. So I grumble and I moan and I whine and I complain. And am generally unpleasant to be around.
And worst of all, I know my attitude stinks. That in comparison to the places I go, the people I work with, I have nothing to complain about. And that make it worse. Then I feel guilty too. Like, really guilty. But not enough stop stropping. I know I should be thankful. That I should be grateful to have any water at all. To have a roof over my head. Not just any roof, but a really decent one and a lovely house. And there are so many good things that I should be appreciative for instead of complaining. And blah blah blah. But I’m not. I’m not flippin thankful, I’m fed up and frustrated and annoyed and enjoying revelling in my misery and feeling sorry for myself. And no matter how guilty I feel about that, my attitude is still there. And I know I need to sort it out…but I don’t want to!! I WANT WATER BACK and until then I WANT TO ENJOY HAVING MY LITTLE TANTRUM ABOUT IT, thank you very much.
Maybe it’s not just my body that needs a good wash. Maybe it’s my attitude too. Maybe confessing I have a bad attitude is the first step to cleaning it up… I hope so…because I feel pretty grimy right now.